The Nightmare.

One of those nights. Just one of those nights.

When you've gotten all comfortable in bed; wrapped up in warm blankets and hug your bolster while shifting to find the perfect position to drift away to sleep. You don't know how much time passes before you start to hear voices. All these voices in your head. They're talking, you're listening. They're saying things that you will lose memory of when you wake up. You don't know what happens, but the talking picks up speed, your heart beats slightly faster and you know it's happening again. The nightmare.

The irony is that nothing happens this time. There's just this heavy feeling on your chest. There's just fear. But that's when it's the worst. When you don't know what you're afraid of. If it was at least a dream where you had something to run away from, you could do something about it. But you can't. You want to scream, but your voice just catches on your throat and all you're expelling is carbon dioxide. You want to move, but your body movements are completely sealed. A million thoughts flow through your head (odd isn't it, when the dream is literally in your head already, so it's a bit like inception at this point). You wake up to another dream, same things, same fear and you wake up again, but you're still there. This repeats so many times, that at some point, you don't even know whether you're still dreaming or you've already woken up. And you question everything around you. There's nothing you can do but wait for it to be over.

That's the kind of nightmares I get. Only at night. Some have tried to explain it as mere REM sleep, something a normal person goes through. It'd be good if that was all it was.

 I don't want to give up on my dreams. I don't want to hate the same things that calm me down and bring me joy. I don't want to hate the darkness the night brings. So, please don't make me.

You know what's scarier? My dreams have always reflected real life. Always.