.:: Koi Wa NaNi? ai Ga eieN...? // MY ReFLeCTioN ::.

Koi wa nani? Ai ga eien?

When I first started to key in my thoughts for this post, these few words suddenly popped in my mind, thus making it the tittle for today's post.

I know its my 2nd post for today, but the 1st one was for Romeo X Juliet, so it doesn't count.

Back to the few words.

It means, "What is love? Is it eternal?"

These were spoken by Syouta, Kagome's brother in the anime series, InuYasha.

Yes, everything I think of has an origin, which is mostly anime.

Please do not jump to conclusions that I am falling in love.

Perhaps I am just moved by Romeo X Juliet.

Okay. So today, I'm clearing my thoughts.

It might sound like a lot of meaningless crap, so either skip it, or deal with it.

I quote the song LOVE CHRONICLE from FULL MOON WO SAGASHITE.

Aisaretai kara Aishitai wake jyanai...

Just because I want to be loved, doesn't mean I want to fall in love...

How true.

But when we fall in love, we don't always realize it, do we?

And sometimes when we think we do, we find out we're wrong.

Up till now, my friends have been saying I really like this guy...

And now I can be assured that they were wrong.

Because what I really liked wasn't him.

It was the memories.

I loved being together with everyone.

It feels like finding a family, one different than the one I already have and cherish.

Perhaps it was because it was awhile since I last felt like that.

Ever since primary school, leaving my first school, it was hard to find a place to belong.

I felt like I was alone, most of the time.

But come to think of it, I was NEVER alone.

And I am thankful for that.

The world is a funny place isn't it?

We are all like onigiri-s.

We can see the good qualities of someone else's but its hard to see our own.

Just like an onigiri, whose umeboshi is always on its back.

Maybe that's why...

But this isn't my theory as well, it's Honda Tohru's. (Fruits Basket)

Have you ever had the feeling of sadness that comes all-too-suddenly?

Like, you're having a happy moment and suddenly, time pauses for a second, only just a second and then, you feel this excruciating sadness in your chest, a pang of guilt, knowing that the happiness you're having is not going to last long?

Because that's what I'm feeling right now. And if I don't express myself, I'll probably still feel that way. And I don't want to.

Ahh... I feel much better now.

Now I can tell myself,

"So what if happiness is only temporary?"

I'll learn to make the most of it while it lasts.

And no matter what, i won't regret.

No matter how sad I might ever feel... I won't cry anymore.

Because, yappari... A smile suits me best, doesn't it?

And besides, if I were to surrender to regret, I have tons of things to regret on. But since I've looked on the bright side of them, there's not that many for me to regret upon now.

Mirai... The Future.

Such an amazing word. Such a nice thing to look forward to.

I've always been afraid to grow up, because I know as time passes, some people we love might just dissapear.

But now, I know.

They won't dissapear.

They'll live for eternity, embedded in the many fragments of my memories.

Datte, sore ga koi nan deshou?