6 for 2016.

Thinking about just how much I've gone through in the past two months makes it seem like I've lived through another year instead of just 50+ days. I've had frightful, disappointing and unpleasant experiences, countless roadblocks and challenges so much so that I can't help but feel my chest tightening and all numb inside at times.  In retrospect, I believe they've helped me grow and open my eyes to the world; both the up-sides and the down-sides. I've had the longest bout of food poisoning ever (no nasi dagang for me for a while), which nearly got me suspected of dengue and eventually caused me to miss out on CNY altogether, but it was swiftly made up for with quality time at home and a great time with cousins. Sure, the year started off with a bumpy ride, but I'm going to enjoy the ride all the same.

So I've been asked a lot about what my New Year's Resolutions were; I've had a rough idea for a while now but never quite had the words to write them down. Seeing as the Lunar New Year is already ending, I suppose this is as late as a New Year's Resolution List is going to get.

The first half of my resolutions are going to be the tougher ones, so I've gotten some help from my usual pillars of support; quotes from anime, manga and anime songs.

1. Be prepared for Murphy's Law, but don't worry so much.

"We've only lived for a little over a decade. What a peaceful life is, I can't even begin to imagine, but I know it definitely wouldn't suit me. So I don't need any of that." 
#KajikaBurnsworth #HanasakeruSeishonen

The year of the Fire Monkey promises to be a challenging one, but I've never been the type to fight fire with fire anyway. So I guess it's a good thing I was born a Water Monkey? :P I resolve to always consider the worst case scenario of every situation I'm in, so that I'll be fully prepared to face it and also because, half the time, worst case scenarios aren't really that bad -- they're something I can live with, so that'll help me decide how to move along quicker. I think recently, I've been thinking too much and letting too many things get to me; whether that's something that's self-inflicted or caused by my surroundings, I'd really like to go back to the simple days where I didn't have to dwell much on things and just live life as it is. Things can always go wrong, but I have it within me to make it right again.

"With that pressure hemming in on you from every other side, we'll smile more daringly and bolder than anyone else. I'm sure no matter who it is, it'll always be the same; I must fight against myself."
#Tightrope #CharcoalFilter #GensomadenSaiyuki #Saiyuki

"Because it's not easy, I can live on."
#Life #YUI #Bleach

2. Enjoy life regardless of all the curve balls it'll throw at me. No regrets, instead, look for that light that's casting those shadows.

"He who can smile; even when he's so sad that he wants to die; when it's so painful he wants to give it all up and run away, is the one who becomes strong. But if you can't smile anymore, it's all over. So I'm going to smile! And I'm never going to give up!"
#AtroSpiker #AdletMayer #RokkaNoYuusha

I think I've started to catch a glimpse of the rumored 'mid-life crisis', but I figured I'm still too young for this to be considered 'mid-life' so I'm going to adopt a #YOLO approach starting this year. Regardless of what happens this year, whatever criticism, hate or challenges that come my way, I'll promise myself to try turning those frowns upside down and always look on the bright side of things, even when it can be a pretty dim one. I will find joy in the smallest of things because life is too short for anything else.

"So hold on tight, even if your heart is shattering. Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow. Yes, if you have the strength to live, you can take another look from the other side. Until you find all that is love."
#OpenUpYourMind #Mirai #GensomadenSaiyuki #Saiyuki

3. Try something new. Conquer old fears. 

"Run faster than the wind! Aim further than the skies! You'll be able to meet a new you. Destroy that weak self of yours! Break down those walls in your way! Your warm heartbeat will be your weapon. Believe in your heart."
#BraveHeart #MiyazakiAyumi #Digimon

Whether it's picking up a new skill or hobby, or just challenging myself to do something I've never dared/ haven't thought of doing before, this year I just want to try something new. I want to conquer old fears and insecurities. I want to learn more about myself and be a better version of me.

"In a way that's like me, I want to change."
#Change #Miwa #Bleach

And now for the slightly easier(?) second half:

4. Lead a healthier lifestyle.

In light of recent events, I've realized my immune system could use some work, so this year, I want to be a bit more health conscious. So this would include exercising more (was thinking of swimming), drinking more water on a daily basis, sleeping enough and eating enough fruits and vegetables (this last part won't be too hard). Also, I want to learn up healthier recipes that I can cook for my grandma who's been getting pickier from day to day (thus killing two birds with one stone).

5. Read more. Write more.

So sometime last year, I've rediscovered the joys of reading (mostly self-improvement books), so I plan to continue reading more this year, especially when it comes to reading news to build up some severely lacking general knowledge. Lately, I haven't been writing as much; whether it's on my blog or in my journal, I want to start writing more again, because I've realized these time capsules and little pieces of myself that I've been leaving behind have helped me get through the worst of times. And as much as possible, I wan't to keep a daily (or weekly) record of quotes that have inspired me.

6. Plan a holiday with the family.

It's actually been a while since the whole family got to go for an actual holiday, so this year, I want to take my family somewhere unexplored, even if it's just a local tourist destination. Wherever it is, it has to be relaxing and care-free, so everyone can just chill and not think about anything except how to have fun for a few days. I think planning for a tiny reward like this is only fair; it gives a good incentive to actually go through all my resolutions. Looking for gaps in all our schedules will be tough, but I guess that's part of the challenge that will make it worth it. We'll probably be able work things out.

I probably could have come up with a few more resolutions but 6 for 2016 has a nice ring to it, no? 

Looking forward to a great year, *Ritsu :)

"Even if today is painful, someday it'll become a warm memory, if you leave everything up to your heart. I've understood the meaning of our living here, it's to know the joy of having been born. Let's stay together, always."
#ForFruitsBasket #RitsukoOkazaki #FruitsBasket

*Reference to Fruits Basket as always, Ritsu Souma is the one cursed with the zodiac of the Monkey. 

Reminisce and Restart

The sound of fireworks blasting off in the background accompanied by notification sounds from the incoming 'Happy New Year' texts caught me a bit off-guard this year. Just like that, another year was ushered in before I was mentally prepared to part with the old one. I guess too many things have happened in 2015 that it all seemed to go by too quickly for it to sink in.

Was 2015 a good year?

As I reminisce the previous year on my mental screen, a plethora of images flash past; new encounters, building precious bonds from both old and new acquaintances, new experiences, a bit of soul searching; I discovered parts of me that I had long forgotten and/or never knew. There were plenty of surprises and countless moments when I'd go to bed thanking God for blessing me with so much, but there were also moments of uncertainty, frustration and weakness that I'd feel numb and empty inside. But even at those times, I was immensely blessed with people who'd console me and convince me that it'd all be okay as well as those who'd be strict with me so I'd realize how silly I was being. 

Some key takeaways from 2015 would be:

1. "Take a leap of faith." If you don't know where you want to go and you're lost without direction, that means you can pretty much go anywhere; anywhere at all would be a step forward. Give yourself a chance, expect nothing but do your best anyway and life will surprise you.

2."Whenever you lose, there's something to gain. Lose the battle if you will, but don't lose the lesson." Yes, you can't always win, but who says losing's a bad thing? If you take the fall, you'll know for sure what to not do the next time. 

3. "Be true to yourself; change only for yourself." There used to be this saying from an anime that is vividly etched in my head even though its origins are a bit fuzzy; "I'd rather be hated for being myself than be loved for being someone I'm not." Of course, you should totally adapt to new environments and work culture, but if you have to down some shots just to 'fit in', well, I'd prefer to have friends who appreciate me when they're sober.

4. "Life is too short to be spent worrying about unchangeable yesterdays and uncertain tomorrows." Nobody can tell what tomorrow brings. You can worry about it all you want, or you could spend all those precious minutes on something else that's more fulfilling, tomorrow will come regardless. It's not going to punish you any less for not worrying about it, similarly there is nothing rewarding about unfounded fears. There is a fine line between mental preparation and exhausting anticipation. Enjoy the 'now' as it is, because our clocks are all mercilessly ticking away.

The flashback ends there, but the road doesn't.

"Today is the first blank page of a 366-paged book. Write a good one."

I absolutely intend to. Time to hit [Restart].