.:: Memories of 2010 ::.

Mood: :)

Woaah. Look at the time.

Well, actually more of 'look at the date'.

Without me realizing it, 2010 has just disappeared

and Momiji's year has stepped in.

I'm expecting wonderful things to happen
in your year, Momiji. :)

Maybe a Fruits Basket Season 2? :D

Anyways, I guess this is one of the posts where

I summarize everything that I have done

back in 2010, Kisa's year.

I guess the year of the Tiger does ask you to be

strong like a tiger, because I think

that's where I learnt most of life's lessons

or reinforce them anyways.

The amount of tears shed in 2010

beats the rest of the years flat,

but because of that, maybe, just maybe,

I've grown a bit stronger?

And by persevering, 

I think all those tears were worth it.

The beginning of 2010 was the scariest time

of my life. Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer

and the search for the best hospital began.

It didn't help that Grandma was extremely stubborn

about getting treatment,

but I guess my persistence paid off.

I prayed every night for her to be well

and well, maybe I shouldn't mention the other half

of my prayers, or I'd probably get scolded :D
But that was probably the time that I cried the

most in my life.

Could never imagine how life would be without her,

and now, thank God I don't have to.

But, like earlier posts,

everything seemed to have a bright side to it.

When my grandma was hospitalized in Penang,

(she finally chose the GH there cause it was her hometown)
my cousins, who I rarely see nowadays,

came all the way from KL to visit.

And I guess we sort of bonded :)

Age and distance had somehow distanced us

in the past few years, but it finally feels

like those good old days when we were all

part of the same Power Rangers team

(like literally in PR pajamas)

and our yearly trips to Genting together.

And it was the first CNY spent in Penang :)
Also the first CNY spent with my cousins.

(Because usually we go back to Terengganu

and they come down to Kuantan)

Like everyone who's experienced it before will know,

post-SPM year can either bring a lot of joy

or it could kill hope and disappoint you.

I was really glad to have gotten 9A+2As,

but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit disappointed

that I didn't do better.

And it didn't help that the scholarships

I got, were ones I didn't really want,

due to my indecisiveness during applications.

And of course, when it comes to these applications,

I did have to face selfish people

who I seriously thought was/were rather a good friend(s)

and was back stabbed.

But in the same light, I also found people

who were kind and willing to share

eventhough it we were rivals in getting scholarships,

and the two sides of the coin began to look clearer to me.

And all the interviews experienced were

really fun and meaningful.

I would never forget Khazanah's,

Shell's and Petronas' interviews,

places where I learned a few lessons,

and got to know a few awesome people

in the process. :)

Spending only a week or two in Form 6,

opened up my mind at how the common perception

of Form 6 being the worst choice,

was in actual fact, false.

I really loved my time in Form 6

but I guess I would never be able to willingly

want to take Pengajian AM :P

And I couldn't take Further Maths there. :/

My first experience being in an 'Amazing Race'-like

situation was in the Sunway Lagoon AMBP challenge.

Teamwork, efficiency, laughter and great fun.

At times like these, I'm really happy to be a blogger. :D

And then came the July phase,

when I had to leave home for UCSI

to do A-levels in preparation for the pharmacy

course I was offered.

And that was when I realized, 

for the first time, that there were things that

I didn't want to do.

I was always  under the opinion that I would

be fine no matter what I had to study,

but I realized that I really wanted to do

further mathematics

and so I left.

But I wouldn't say my stay there

(though it was only a week)

was completely useless.

I experienced what it was like to

be living with housemates

and it was quite fun :)

And I really liked my bio lecturer there,

she was the only one who appealed to me.

Reminded me a lot of Ms Ong actually :)

My first day in Sunway felt like the day when

I stepped into a spot of sunshine.

The first people I met in Chemistry Class

were Pavallam and Clandia.

And after spending a day with people in my class,

seeing how the lecturers teach etc

I could already say for sure that

this was where I want to be.

(I can never forget that Thinking Skills debate haha :P )

And I am so glad I made that decision.

And I guess I learnt a little bit more about 

decision-making.

Back in 2008 when I chose to shift,

I wasn't completely sure that I had made the right choice,

even though lots of wonderful stuff did happen,

I was always wondering what would have been different

if I had stayed back.

But now, considering the way things have turned out,

that was really silly of me,

because I now know that

the only way a decision made in the past can be a bad one

is if you let it be.

Decisions should be made with no regrets

and eventhough it's not wrong to look to the past,

you must never forget that the next step you're

taking is one forwards.

When Malaysian Studies came and we had to

do the cultural dance for Independence Day,

I was so afraid everything wouldn't work out,

given that there were already people unwilling to do it

immediately after it was announced.

But it was also because of this

that I discovered what wonderful people I had in my team

and I couldn't help wondering how everything had worked out

so wonderfully, how I had been  once again so lucky :)

It was definitely my first time working with

such awesome people who were so cooperative

and helpful without expecting anything in return. 

I had sooo much fun doing the dance

and I still laugh watching those videos,

especially when Alvin bumps into Harmeet 

and  Pav goes 'Oops!"

And the first failed Nagada :P

Thank you soooo much!! :)

And I knew that I was right to not stop

believing in God, since He's always been looking out for me. :)

And then, there's my S3 family,

one of my favourite things to talk about 

when it comes to 2010.

Our two class outings (one with Ms Amy)

were really awesome!

And I love being in class with all of you everyday,

because we really are like a family.

It was my first time celebrating my birthday

with friends, and it really meant a lot to me :)

You make me wonder countless times

how kind God has been to me

by putting me in the same class as all of you. =)

Christmas 2010 was definitely the best Christmas ever.

Universal Studios Singapore is an awesome place.

OMGG the Mummy coaster! :D

Marina Bay had the prettiest view ever

and it was definitely my first time enjoying a view

of skyscrapers from a pool 56 floors high :D

And it sort of made me appreciate Malaysia a bit more,

how things here are so much cheaper than in Singapore

and we can eat as much as we want without having to convert

the value of everything we buy :P

All in all, I guess its safe to say that 2010 was

an awesome year despite starting off a bit slow.

All the memories made in 2010 are ones that I

will most definitely treasure for life.

So let's make 2011 even better, yeah?

Three cheers for Kisa year! :D

They say a picture's worth a thousand words.

Wonder how many words there are here from this collage.
[click for larger view]
But just to summarize;
Christmas in Singapore. Awesome. :)

Will be blogging about it when I feel likPublish Poste it =D

.:: 友達 ::.

Mood: It has been raining so much lately,

can't help but smile every time I smell the scent of rain

and the sound it makes as each raindrop hits the earth.

友達.

Tomodachi.

Friends.

When it comes down to this,

a lot of us may not know the 

true meaning of the word.

And if you're one of those people,

feeling lonely and completely without someone

to rely on, it's not that you're unfortunate,

it's just that you haven't met the right people yet.

So don't give up and keep looking and you'll find them one day. :)

So I guess I should count myself lucky

to have found the people I know today.

And so here's a video I made

for my S3 family, 

who have added even more meaning to the word

'Friends'.

.:: Butterfly ::.

Mood: It's amazing how until today,

listening to Butterfly from Digimon

can jog a chain of nostalgic thoughts,

each one resonating strongly within me.

And how I always feel close to tears when I hear the chorus.

(Because I'll always be reminded of the ending of 01)

18 years.

It's been 18 years since December 6th, 1992

(which happens to be my Parents' Anniversary)

and here I am, waiting for the big change
that's 'supposed' to come with age.

Kinda like a caterpillar waiting to come out of

it's cocoon and spreading its wings to become a butterfly.

But I don't feel different, so it's safe to say

I'm still the same me, on the inside.

Yesterday, the minute I woke up,

my siblings were complaining,

"Your phone's been so noisy!! 

I feel like throwing it out of the window"

And it made me smile, because of the many people who

remembered me, despite being busy with their everyday lives.

Same goes for you people who flooded my wall

on Facebook with your wishes. Thanks so much. :)

We had a lovely breakfast, nothing extraordinary,

but it was really good to me :)

My sister bought me a bag ( a reallyyy pink one!)

so I started using it, younger sister got me some accessories,
and my youngest brother got me earrings :D
Which I'm quite happy with especially the T-cross ones :D

But it was when my mum asked me what I wanted

for my birthday, that my mind went blank,

unable to think of anything for an answer.

And I'm kinda glad, because it could

only mean that I've already got everything

 I could possibly want. :)

It feels like life's pretty much perfect right now.

In the end, we didn't buy a cake

(because I don't really like cakes)

and we didn't go back to Kuantan,

because some things popped up.

But we did spend an entire day together,

arguing, joking around, laughing, hearing each other out.

Pretty much an average day.
But I still liked it. :)


So, looking back 18 years,
how much have I changed and what's still the same?


Obviously, my physical growth would be the biggest change.
I used to be petite, but now I'm surprised that I'm taller 
than some people who I've always thought would be taller than me.
I guess my voice probably has changed,
can't sing as much high notes as I used to be able to. :/
Personality-wise, I'm hoping I'm a better person now,
it'll take a lot before I'll give up on anything :)
And I guess that's partially thanks to anime :D
Haha, owh yeah, 18 years back, I couldn't speak or write Japanese,
so that's a change.


Things that haven't changed?
1. My love for anime :) And this will NEVER change.


2. My ringtone -- been having the same one 
ever since I got my first phone :D
Oh and my phone theme's always been anime,
custom made. :D


3. My hair colour? Actually I've been having the same
hairstyle till a few months back when I had the layer cut. 
Haha, and the length of my hair's approximately the same :P


4. My habit of singing when I like what I'm doing,
or when things get tough and I need a mood change.


Okay, so this is wayy harder than I thought.


But who cares how much I've changed or
how much have I didn't?
One thing's for sure, I'll always be me, 
so I'm guessing that's all that counts.


Some time back, I would always complain that because
my birthday was during the holidays,
I'd never get the chance to celebrate it with friends.
But then, I found out it was my parent's anniversary
and never said a word since.
And then, this year, I did manage to celebrate it with friends,
so I guess there's nothing left to complain about.


It's funny how things always have two sides to it when
you observe well enough.
Just like how the light and darkness co-exist,
bad things can never come without the good.
Every cloud has its silver lining,
when it rains, the stars shine brighter in the night.
And depending on which side of the coin
you choose to look at,
you'll be able to embrace everything.
Or so I think haha :D


So it doesn't matter that with each 
birthday I get older and that I have to finally
learn about the adult world,
because just like everything else, there's got
to be a bright side to this.
Where the shadows are, there has to be a light source.
All I have to do is find it. :)

.:: A Voice From The Past ::.

Mood: Happy because I'm back in my hometown,
Kuantan and that it's been raining,
but above all it's because 
everything feels perfect right now.
(No matter how imperfect it might actually be)


It's funny how things eventually all work out.
I know the saying that everything happens for a reason,
but I never really did believe it until, maybe, now.
Every time there's a quiet moment in college,
I can't help but smile as I think about all the wonderful
things that have happened until now.
And I can't help but thank God profusely for all the
nice things He's set for me,
and Lady Luck for being by my side.


I finally feel like myself again,
I finally feel like the old me who I've been searching
desperately for ever since 'The Shift".
I know, in some ways, I have changed
and although I don't necessarily like some of the
 changes that have taken place,
I gladly welcome the rest. :)


I must admit that I kinda dislike the fact that I'm being
corrupted by my friends, but I guess, it's a bit inevitable.
Knowing these things won't change who I am anyways,
as long as I don't let it happen.


It's kinda stupid, but I was always afraid of growing up,
not because of the increasing responsibilities,
(heck it feels the same no matter what age I am)
not because it means I'm getting older
or my countdown gets closer.
Somewhere deep inside,
I was always afraid that I'd never be
able to see things the same way again,
no longer be able to see things in the perspective of a child.
I was afraid of losing the real me, though I've always known
that could never happen.


When I read letters that I wrote to myself when I was
younger, I feel amazed that I could've known so much
back then.
How in the world, did I, as a child,
know the right words to write to myself in the future?
Every word written years ago, resonated loudly.
And I find myself comparing myself to the past me,
wishing that I could be like her.
It's really stupid, I know, but I did.


Children are so amazing. They can see so much
that we miss in our daily lives. 
How many times do you stop to look at the sky and
marvel at the lovely clouds decorating the azure skies?
It's been so long since I last stopped to listen to the
melodies of the rain and felt the wind blowing into my face.
I can't believe it took a letter from a 15 year old me to remind
me of who I am and who I will always be.
And another letter written much recently,
that puts all the puzzle pieces back into the right places.


Time flies so fast, things change,
that sometimes you lose yourself in the paths of time.
But I'm glad that I found myself again,
and that I've got a place to belong to once more.
I'm glad I never gave up on making friends
just because I got betrayed more than once.
I'm glad I never gave up on God,
just because things seemed like a mess once upon a time.
I'm glad I never gave up.
I'm glad I was born.
I'm just glad. :)


And I never want to lose sight of who I am again.
And I never will :)

.:: It's like finding the place you were always meant to be ::.

Mood: It hasn't been raining much lately,

but I've been absolutely happy. :)

It's been ages since I've last blogged

and it's not surprising considering how busy I've been

in the past few months.

(Actually it's only been at most 3 months,

but it feels like I've already completed a whole

semester, what with the amount of stuff

we're learning every day)

College is awesome!

That would pretty much summarize my entire post.

I remember those times when I loved going to school

so much, that I would go even if I wasn't feeling well.

I guess I have to say the same about college.

(It would be disastrous to miss any classes anyways,

at the speed we're going)

But somehow, even with all the work we're doing,

how much we're cramming in in such a short period of time,

it doesn't pressure me at all.

And I have my friends to thank for that. :)

If I were to describe my life in college, 

I wonder where I should start?

With the fact that I'm doing all the subjects I love

which makes every class worth going to?

Or the fact that I can share absolutely anything

with the girls; Harmeet, Pav, Clandia, 

Zahrah, Ummaira etc

without feeling awkward?

Or the fact that there's always a reason to laugh in class,

either cause of Yow Wai's witty sarcasm,

Aryl's blur-ness in the way he asks questions,
Sien Son's excitement in completing a tough math question
(which reminds  me of myself sometimes hahax), 
Jee An's lame math jokes or
jokes and teases about Yow Wai's age and
Fariz's long hair.

Class would never be complete without
Iqhwan, Fateh and Yoga too.
It's like we're this one 'big' S3 family.
And though I hate it when I get laughed at
for not understanding their perverted jokes,
it's nice to have everyone laughing so much
that I eventually feel like laughing too.


Oh, and when Malaysian studies and Econs
come, I have another class of people
that I like chatting with.
Teasing Stephenas and Hafizul never seems to
get old, just like how much I tease Alvin and Sue Yinn
together hahax. (they're so gonna murder me if
they ever read this.)
Alvin's been a major big bully recently 
(though comparatively better than Aryl in terms 
of irritating-ness),but it's okay, 
since it's easy to get revenge on him.
Bwahahahahahahaha,


Of course, let's not forget our lecturers. :D
It's really awesome that we have such
sporting math lecturers that spoil us with
knowledge and fun :)
I love how we can easily joke with Ms Amy,
(class is rarely quiet when she's around since it's
too fun for that) and how Ms Yap will gladly
answer just about any question we ask,
no matter how irrelevant it may be,
and actually bother explaining it in detail.
The fact that she doesn't mind telling us stuff
out of syllabus is pretty cool too :D


Physics with Ms Deborah is good too,
with all her stories for examples (though sometimes
violent and gory ones) especially the
one about the mer'maid'. :P
Having Mr Nedu for Econs somehow eases the
fear & lack of confidence I have for the subject
(cause of my lack of general knowledge which I am
'trying' to improve) since Econs is a lot more than just theory.


I wonder if there is a bigger and more bombastic word
to describe the fun I'm having when I'm in college?
For now, let's just stick with 'awesome', shall we?
Yes, college life is good.
It's like finding the place you were always
meant to be.