.:: A Voice From The Past ::.

Mood: Happy because I'm back in my hometown,
Kuantan and that it's been raining,
but above all it's because 
everything feels perfect right now.
(No matter how imperfect it might actually be)


It's funny how things eventually all work out.
I know the saying that everything happens for a reason,
but I never really did believe it until, maybe, now.
Every time there's a quiet moment in college,
I can't help but smile as I think about all the wonderful
things that have happened until now.
And I can't help but thank God profusely for all the
nice things He's set for me,
and Lady Luck for being by my side.


I finally feel like myself again,
I finally feel like the old me who I've been searching
desperately for ever since 'The Shift".
I know, in some ways, I have changed
and although I don't necessarily like some of the
 changes that have taken place,
I gladly welcome the rest. :)


I must admit that I kinda dislike the fact that I'm being
corrupted by my friends, but I guess, it's a bit inevitable.
Knowing these things won't change who I am anyways,
as long as I don't let it happen.


It's kinda stupid, but I was always afraid of growing up,
not because of the increasing responsibilities,
(heck it feels the same no matter what age I am)
not because it means I'm getting older
or my countdown gets closer.
Somewhere deep inside,
I was always afraid that I'd never be
able to see things the same way again,
no longer be able to see things in the perspective of a child.
I was afraid of losing the real me, though I've always known
that could never happen.


When I read letters that I wrote to myself when I was
younger, I feel amazed that I could've known so much
back then.
How in the world, did I, as a child,
know the right words to write to myself in the future?
Every word written years ago, resonated loudly.
And I find myself comparing myself to the past me,
wishing that I could be like her.
It's really stupid, I know, but I did.


Children are so amazing. They can see so much
that we miss in our daily lives. 
How many times do you stop to look at the sky and
marvel at the lovely clouds decorating the azure skies?
It's been so long since I last stopped to listen to the
melodies of the rain and felt the wind blowing into my face.
I can't believe it took a letter from a 15 year old me to remind
me of who I am and who I will always be.
And another letter written much recently,
that puts all the puzzle pieces back into the right places.


Time flies so fast, things change,
that sometimes you lose yourself in the paths of time.
But I'm glad that I found myself again,
and that I've got a place to belong to once more.
I'm glad I never gave up on making friends
just because I got betrayed more than once.
I'm glad I never gave up on God,
just because things seemed like a mess once upon a time.
I'm glad I never gave up.
I'm glad I was born.
I'm just glad. :)


And I never want to lose sight of who I am again.
And I never will :)