.:: One step closer to becoming a vampire ::.

First it was just the nocturnal-ness,

which I tried to cure,

but it ended up with me sleeping more than  ever necessary.

And now.

After yesterday, I think I've pretty much

gotten used to the taste and the scent of blood.

I know perfectly well how

'throbbing fangs' feel like,

if ever that was used to describe a vampire.

All that's left now is to upgrade my brain

and I could probably join Kaname's class.

I guess seeing things this way makes it a lot

better than screaming Armageddon

for having my teeth pulled out.

My tear ducts have dried up,

together with any signs of indecisiveness & regret.

No matter what I do now,

there's no way back, 

the only path open for me is forwards.

Yesterday, when I decided on something that

I did spend time regretting on,

I had placed a bet.

A bet that I could withstand this,

that a little pain like this would be nothing

against my will to fight for what I've always held important.

And I don't plan on losing this bet.

So goodbye, regret,

as easy as it is to dwell on you,

I hate losing more than that.

And I have someone I cannot let down.

I cannot let go my current purpose of existence.

And I know I won't.

Because He's up there.

And the Wind is here with me. :)

If all works well, we'll know that God's

so kind that He even blesses vampires like myself.

And I have a feeling He will.

.:: It's like having just drunk a glass of refreshing juice and suddenly having hiccups ::.

何かあるわけじゃないのに
なぜか悲しい
心のどこかがぽっかり
あいたみたい

It's been a good day really,

but I wonder why,

there's that little sigh.

It's like just having drunk a glass

of refreshing juice and

suddenly having hiccups.

Hmm.

.:: The sudden rain, although short, really made me happy :) ::.

It's amazing how some things happen without warning

and you find that it overlaps with

something else that had just happened.

And when that happens, you find that

those everyday things that we usually overlook

have hidden meanings,

God's little messages to us. :)

I just love little revelations,

it's like solving a code,

a real-life math equation.

Me and my siblings really do argue a lot.

We're siblings, but there are loads of things that

we don't see eye-to-eye on.

And we may call each other annoying and irritating a lot,

but when it counts, we're always there for each other.

And I know that I would never want to

replace any one of my siblings,

nor will I ever tolerate anyone else

picking on them.

It's one of those "I'm the only one that can

pick on my siblings" type of protectiveness. Hee. =D

Yesterday was just overflowing with good things.

And I can only hope and pray that this keeps up.

And soon, it'll be my turn huh?

1 more day till semester 3 starts.

And it's one of those 'mixed-feelings' moments again.

Nevertheless, there'll always be that sudden rain, ne?

How true. :)

.::Boundaries overstepped, it's time to turn back. ::.

Mood:
If it would start raining, 

everything would be just great.

Being at home just gives you that feeling of security.

But it also leaves you loads of time to

reflect upon yourself and think,

especially cause its the holidays.

I feel like I've been overstepping some boundaries lately,

especially when it comes to bed-time.

I know I've been nocturnal for a while,

but sleeping at 5am these past few days

has definitely taken its toll on my poor memory.

I can't believe I can even start being unable to recall

about my precious anime =/

This truly frightens me to no end.

I guess I'd better start sleeping at the right

times again soon before I wake up one day

and wonder who I am.

As for the other boundary(ies),

it feels like I've been living in some korean drama lately,

so it's definitely time to wake up and

remind myself why I'm here today.

I hate being misunderstood,

but I guess people's perceptions have a tendency to run.

And to fix those misconceptions,

I have to be more sure of myself.

If anything, I'm glad there are wake-up calls 

for me when I need them.

I could hate whatever's happening right now,

the awkwardness of some situations are killing me,

but it's still hard to ignore that bright light

that's casting whatever shadows of doubt on me.

And so instead, I'll use that light to guide me.

Back to where I belong.

.:: It's nice to know we're still staring at the same skies ::.

Mood:

Back at home again and everything feels like

its fallen back into place. :)

Grandma's helping me alter the length of my dress

for graduation (still can't believe I'm actually going to

wear a dress.) -- I guess that adds to my list of first-times in college.

First of all,

Happy Birthday to Nakaya! :)

お誕生日おめでとう!

Can't believe it's nearly three years since I've first

met him. Time passes sooo fast!

I hope you have a wonderful birthday :)
Actually woke up from a really nice dream today.

Well, by nice, I didn't mean the type of dream

where everything happens exactly the way you want it.

It was one of those dreams with a complete story-line,

another gift from God to write out.

But before that one was one that has been repeating

for quite some time and I was quite surprised

to find something that could come quite close to

it when I was randomly looking through deviantart.

Credits to the respected artist.

It'll be our little secret. Just Me and God. :)
And now I guess since I missed Mechanics today,

I'd best start working on it.

Wonder if I work on it hard enough,

the answers might appear in my dreams? =D

.:: Another reason why I love the rain is because you can stand under it and no one knows whether those tears are really yours. ::.

Mood: 

Looking forward to some things and wishing 

others would pass more slowly. 

And then after that, wishing that 

I wouldn't need to wish for anything right now

because everything I could possibly need is already right here.

Apparently, some part of me thinks differently.

AS is over.

What seemed like something that was still coming

was done and over with before I realized it.

And here I am, still waiting for the post-AS symptoms

to come into effect, but nothing seems to be happening.

I never thought I could actually get used to exams,

the butterflies in my tummy seemed to be always

ready to come out of their cocoons before exams.

I mean, sure, I did get freaked out as usual, minutes

before entering the exam hall and every now and then,

but that was about it.

Which is weird, considering how nervous I was before trials,

but I guess that's that and since it's already over,

it doesn't really matter anymore.

So much has happened since the last time I posted

and it seems like every time I look back in time,

I see so many wonderful memories and

yet, equally sad feelings weighed alongside the happy ones.

Third semester is coming and just like how the second

semester flew past, I have a feeling the clock will be

ticking much faster from here on.

Things have changed, feelings have changed,

people have changed.
I have changed.

I imagine myself years ago and the me right now,

and although a lot of things have stayed the same,

plenty of things have changed.

"The Me that I am now, could I possibly reflect

all of those days in these small eyes of mine?"

My story has definitely been written 

with a different pen once college started.

So many new experiences, so many first-times.

And so many loved ones.

Ones I will miss dearly when the time comes.

Ones that I must learn to let go when the time comes

yet hold dear forever in my heart.

I guess all these moody thoughts arose because

graduation night is just next Monday.

It's not like we're really graduating, but still.

I guess when the time comes,

I'll just go stand under the rain.

And then no one will be able to tell whose tears those are.

.:: If You Had Just One Wish ::.

Mood: Still tired from the extra long

bus ride home yesterday,

but that's nothing a little time at home can't change. :D

Feeling very much in the InuYasha mood right now,

so if you don't watch InuYasha,

you probably might not get some of the things I'm writing here.


Was listening to Tackey & Tsubasa's
Sotsugyou; Sayonara Wa Ashita No Tame
which translates to
Graduation; Goodbye for the sake of tomorrow
and couldn't stop imagining the scene
where Kikyo fell off that cliff into the miasma
and the look on InuYasha's dace when he couldn't save her.
(yes this song was the background music for
that particular scene)
The first line of the song really stuck in my head
and it got me thinking.

"もしも一つだけ, たった一つだけ 

かなえられるなら何を祈るかな？"

"If you had just one wish,

and only just one wish that could come true,

what would you wish for?"

A week ago, (and most times, actually)

I would wish for more time.

I guess it's pretty normal to wish for that

when you're cramming for mocks and the clock's

just ticking away and you try and make every

minute worth it, but something just gets in the way

and you wish you've got more time.

And now that it's the holidays, some part

of me is still wishing for the same,

that I'd have more time before AS comes.

But then again, there was a point in time

that I did have nothing but time (lols no pun intended)

and I really can't say that it was spent productively.

In fact, having lots of time with little to do, is just boring.

It's probably the fact that the time we have is limited that 

makes things special.

It's knowing that we could never turn back the

hands of time, that makes us

cherish the moment and treasure it forever.

And once wishing for more time is out of the picture,

I don't think there's possibly anything else I would wish for.

Yes there could be tons of things that I could want,

but when I think about it deeply,

none of those small little wants really matter,

because I have everything  that's important to me

right here.

So little genie, if I do get the privilege of making that one wish,

I'd wish for the good health of everyone around me,

so that things would be as they are right now. =)

Guess this post is more of a reminder to myself

(knowing how forgetful I am nowadays)

that what's truly important has always been

right here in front of me after all.

Just like how InuYasha has Kagome. :)

Even if my Shikon No Tama is incomplete at the moment,

and there are still thousands of shards out there,

I'll find them slowly, step-by-step, though I know,

that when its finally complete, 

I probably won't need it to make anymore wishes.