.:: Little things I've come to notice. ::.

I somehow find that when I'm cramming for

exams is the time that I'm learning the most.

The week has been a rather fast one,

it feels just like yesterday that I was

contemplating on whether or not I should go to Langkawi,

and then coming back and having a little more than a week

left for my mock exams.

I remember all the mixed feelings and indecisiveness

piled up inside of me, knowing each tiny thing I do

definitely comes with its consequence.

I still feel worried sick sometimes when

I think about all that I have to cover before my coming

mocks and how the ruthless clock only continues ticking forwards.

I remember being confused and a tiny bit hurt by

actions of certain people, being moved by past fears,

but I've decided not to be moved, even by a slightest inch, anymore.

Because all that I've come to notice is that,

if you flip those worries inside out,

then all the answers are there, waiting for you to notice them.

If every tiny thing I do comes with a consequence,

it also means that every bit that I study, no matter how small

shall have its effect when I have to answer those

questions on that important sheet of paper later on.

Of course, every little bit that I work on will have its tiny benefits.

The fact that the clock will only continue forwards means

that I should just leave the worrying to yesterday,

because it's already a different day, so I should be looking at

what I can achieve and do today instead of trying to

stop time's everlasting flow.

If people want to say things they don't mean,

then their words will just lose meaning to me

and together with those words, they too will lose meaning to me.

Those foolish fears of the past should be just benchmarks 

of how much courage is needed for me to

once again put my trust into someone,

instead of being chains that stop me from trusting.

And it helps to think that, at some point in time,

some things that I've said or done
might have hurt some one without my realizing it.
So it's probably the same, except that I was on the receiving end.


I remember this line from Breaking Dawn
(yes, excuse me from quoting from sappy vamp stories)
that if you were to turn the tapestry of that happy moment
described there, it'd be woven with grey lines of worries.
So, if I were to turn over my tapestry of worries,
there should be a colourful rainbow woven behind it, no?


So sometimes, when we're enveloped by all these
worries and despairs, maybe we're just looking
at the wrong side of the tapestry.
Those grey line will always be there,
but will you choose to look for the bright side
and know that even with those grey lines,
a beautiful pattern is on the other side, 
or to forever stare at those grey lines and be shaken?
Because I think I know what I'll choose to do. :)

(Yes I had to look for a FMA tapestry.
That's a human transmutation circle btw O.o)