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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Halfway there.

So it's been forever since I've last posted anything so I figured I'd drop a post since it is the Easter holidays and I haven't written anything much in English, save for text messages and UMSU Intl's fortnightly newsletter. Time to keep up with my New Year's Resolutions to write more.

This semester started as a really crazy one right off the bat. Summer was really relaxed with only two days of classes (since I skipped all my Intermediate Microeconomics lectures) so going back to the 18 hours per week required a huge gear shift. It didn't really help that I only came back on a Tuesday and missed four lectures on Day 1, nor that I nearly had a heart attack when my luggage went into the oversized baggage department for the first time. I guess I shouldn't really diss my stamina as I managed to get my groceries, go for class, unpack and clean my whole unit the day I landed in Melbourne. That was probably my most productive day ever.

Fast forward into the semester, the tides turned violent and the pressure on my shoulders got heavier. Everything was a lot harder than before, all my subjects have stepped up at least a notch or two. And I learned some important life lessons that I had forgotten. What friendship was and wasn't, who to trust and who to be wary of. I guess being surrounded by really nice people in college really made me let my guard down; I had forgotten to be skeptical and had grown to be really naive. The wake up call was harsh, but at the same time, it was one I was glad for.

The value of foresight also became really apparent to me. Being able to plan ahead for some things really does help reduce the burden. Being able to decide what I was capable of, how much I could really handle was also really important; so many times we overestimate our abilities, thinking we should be able to do more and criticizing ourselves for not being able to achieve those expectations. I guess I'm really lucky because I have people who are there to remind me that it's okay to not be able to do everything. It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to be weak and rely on someone else. It's okay to take a break and fall back. It's okay to go back on certain decisions. It's okay, as long as you remember what's important, why you're where you are and what you really want to achieve.
When things are really bad, it's okay to cry. Cry your heart out as much as you want, but never cry again for the same things. Let it go. You decide what bothers you, so don't let them in your head because they aren't worth it. There are always better things in life more worth your time.

The past two weeks have been dreadful for me, to be honest. Never-ending assignments, deadlines, work, work and more work. It has been a really long time since I last lost my voice or had a fever that dragged out for days or had my patience tested to it's limits. But all's well that ends well. :) Easter break is here and I'm in the best place on Earth recuperating, reflecting on the first half of the semester. 

I'm writing this so that the next time the world decides to crumble on me again, I'll know that I've been there, done that and can do it again. And to remind myself that they weren't all only bad times; where there are shadows, there's also light after all. And the finale to week 7 where I pack my bags to come home was just the very best.
So quickly have 7 weeks gone by, I'm already halfway there. Halfway there, all beat up but standing strong. Halfway there; bring it on.